Honestly.

SO this might be a controversial post, but I feel led to say these things. Before you read on, do know that I say these things out of love and frustration with not only the church but also with myself. I always tell the patients I work with to get things out so the feelings don't just add up and cause an implosion, so this is my attempt at taking my own advice.

I am seriously frustrated right now. I don't do controversial well and it doesn't sit well with my heart when I am. I've been feeling so much like God is challenging my preconceived notions of my faith and 1) it's scary and 2) it's uncomfortable.

Matt and I have been beyond frustrated with the state of the Church. I don't hate church, just think that we, as the bride of Christ, are not living up to the example that we are meant to. First of all, there are so many individuals who are so focused on their comfortable, middle-class lifestyle. They think that by passively giving money to this cause or bringing in food for that drive, they are showing charity to the poor and orphans. No. No. NO. Yes, those are all great things, but I'm feeling more like TIME is a greater investment that canned goods. Getting out there are realizing that there are things besides Ikea shopping and middle school youth group movie nights.

The other thing that drives me mad is the idea that in the United States, being a "successful church" means building on and expanding. In my town, I can't even tell you how many churches I drive past on a typical Sunday. Maybe if a church is failing it's because God wants the congregation to join up with another, thus uniting the bride. There are so many things out there that are causing divisions in the church that I feel like the enemy may be getting a hold of us and misdirecting us to focusing on the divisions rather than being united.

Why are we as believers wanting to drive a wedge between us and the world? Are we not meant to go into the world to make disciples of all the nations? How can we be exemplifying Jesus Christ by condemning sinners when we ourselves were once lost but now have been found? How is that ok? How am I alone in seeing the gravity of this?

I'm angry, frustrated, and broken. God is literally breaking my heart with this right now. So, what do we do? I want to challenge you to pray on this. To really think about this and to examine your heart and see what God is saying about all of this. I know that because I feel so alone that I've been distancing myself from the Bible and prayer but that isn't the answer, either. I want to encourage you that if you feel like I do, you aren't alone.

I sense change coming to the church. Let's get out of ourselves for a second and fix it. Let's be the bride that we were always meant to be. In Jesus' name, amen.

<3 C